Papa

Yesterday was Papa's, my grandfather, 101st birthday. Even though I've spent more years of my life without him, he still has an impact in my life. I have memories of climbing rocks, going on hikes and hugs from Papa that still bring me tears of happiness. I can still remember how he smells and the tickle of his mustache. His stand up character and devotion to family runs deep and is something I strive to instill in my children. Even though Papa has been gone for 20 years, he still finds ways to reach me.

Before Jack was part of our lives, Nancy purchased a Paddington Bear book and stuff animal for our to-be child; I can only think that it was done in remembrance of Papa because we both have memories of Papa reading Paddington Bear to us. I must admit, I tucked them both away... for one day...

A couple weeks ago, Jack found the Paddington Bear book and it has now become apart of our nightly bedtime book reading rotation. It brought me happiness reading this book to my son -- so many, many years later from when Papa would read it to me. But that was nothing compared to last night.

The side of Jack's closet that holds extra books, extra stuffed animals, keepsakes, etc. is always closed. But for some reason, it was open last night...on Papa's birthday. As Jack and I laid in his bed, reading Paddington Bear, Jack looked up and saw the Paddington Bear stuffed animal... that I had forgotten about.

Even now, Papa reaches out to me and his great-grandson. Why, after having this stuffed bear for over three years and go completely unnoticed, was it on Papa's birthday that Jack found it and slept with it all night long? I'd like to think it was Papa's way of wrapping his warm, great-grandfatherly arms around Jack. I will always love you Papa, and still miss you every day.