Adoption thoughts...

Family has been on my mind a lot lately..... maybe because of my grandmother's passing, maybe because we just made plans to go east for Scott's cousin's wedding, maybe because we have several birthdays this month (including Jack turning 5!), but regardless the reason, here is a small insight to my thinking.

Being an adoptive parent, I know just how hard it was to create my family. And with bigger hurdles, there grows a deeper appreciation. I never wonder if I love my children less because they were adopted. I know most parent love their children and although I think I love my children more, I'm sure other mothers would say they love their child(ren) more. And isn't that a good argument to have - who loves their child(ren) more?

I was watching my children giggle and play in Jack's bed yesterday morning and I knew just how lucky I am. I am lucky to be a Mom. I am lucky to have 2 children. I am lucky to have Jack and to have Brooke as my children. I am lucky to be so in love with my children.

But this isn't about me anymore. This is about Jack and Brooke. They say they love me, Scott and our family. And I wonder, will they ever really get it? Will they ever really understand the love I have for them? Perhaps one day when they have children of their own. I just hope they never question the love that I have for them.

I read an article about an adoptee who knew she had been adopted as an infant, who had a very grounded childhood, who refers to her Mom as her Mom (not her adopted Mom). She says she never questioned her family or that her parents love her... but that she did wonder if she'd feel a different kind of love for biological parents - not more or less or better or worse, just different. She recently gave birth to her daughter and has realized that the love for her daughter is the same love that she feels for her parents -- that family love is family love no matter what.

It was a great read for me. I hope I can raise my children to be so grounded. Adoption is not something I think about when I look at the faces of my children. I hope it never defines them. I hope they know I love them for them, that the love I have for them is real love - with my whole heart.... and then some more.