Week 2 of Therapy

Our big adjustment at meal time this week was to incentivize Jack that if he eats well during a meal, he'll earn a quarter. Eating well means, less stories / more eating, eating the majority of his food in a reasonable time.

Week Two:
Day 1 / Wed - most breakfast, barely lunch, half dinner
Day 2 / Thur - most breakfast, most lunch, barely dinner
Day 3 / Fri - off day because Jack had surgery (no breakfast allowed, barely lunch, half dinner but with help)
Day 4 / Sat - barely breakfast, most lunch, most dinner (with help due to being at a party)
Day 5 / Sun - barely breakfast, all lunch (at a Pump It Party), barely dinner
Day 6 / Mon - barely breakfast, little lunch, most dinner
Day 7 / Tues - most breakfast, barely lunch, barely dinner

most = more than half, little = less than half, barely = only a few bites

It should also be noted that since day 3 / Friday, at most meals, Jack complains that his tummy hurts. Not sure if it is from the surgery or from hearing us talk about the fact that his ulcer was probably causing pain from eating but he just didn't notice it.

During our 3rd visit to the psychologist she explained kids work for approval and acceptance. She challenged us to hold back on Jack so that he seeks our approval at meal time by eating more. Hummm.... not sure how much I can hold back on Jack or Brooke. To which she asked why. I explained three reasons why I just love on my kids....1) I have working Mom's guilt, 2) we worked SO hard to have a family that I appreciate it and relish in it, and 3) I never want my kids to point back to a situation saying "you didn't love me here" or "you didn't want me" or anything that would make them think that because they were adopted, that they were "less".... because the truth is, they are so much "more".

The psychologist really zeroed in on the working Mom's guilt... stating having guilt can be projected on the children, making them feel like there is something wrong with them. And could I be overcompensating (doing more) because I feel guilty about working outside the home? Interesting concept..... have I ever purchased a toy for them because I feel guilty about working? Well, I have purchased a toy for them. But out of guilt? Or just because I love them and love seeing the happiness on their faces? Is that over-indulging them so they feel my working Mom's guilt or so they are no longer seeking my approval?

And I honestly don't think holding back on Jack, will get him to eat. Not praising the good deeds he does and pointing out where he could do better, isn't something that I think, would resonate with him. And I honestly don't think I could hold back on hugging, cuddling and telling him how much I love him or how I'm proud of him when he does something great. Maybe because I do better with positive reinforcement instead of having an eyebrow raised at the "but you could have done this better".

Scott and I have decided to maintain the no focus on eating/food strategy. We're also giving the acid reflux / ulcer medicine time to work and pray that as it does, Jack's eating will increase. And we'll take Jack back to psychologist in 2 weeks as a recheck for us and a check-in for Jack.